Lifeshotzzzzzzz............: The strife with loneliness...

Lifeshotzzzzzzz............: The strife with loneliness...

Think India Think……

Think India Think……

They are making us always fool since 1947. of course they have paid for it in 1965, 1971, 1998 etc. I wonder about Pakistants' bizarre policy. Whoever comes to the helm of Islamabad, they produced a straight/proxy war, whether Bhutto Senior/Junior, Zia/Musharraf, Nawaz/Geelani. Why are we being fooled away every time, I am confused? What does this hell-talking produce??? When there are always 3 power centers in Islamabad eg a People-elected Government, Pakistani Army-ISI and The fundamentalist-terrorist outfit, then what rubbish we are producing by talking with one centre only? If I become PM of India I'll try these 3 centers at a given time...Is it feasible? I might be a day dreamer, but I don’t regret for it.  While Manmohan/Bajpai were busy in talking with Geelani/Nawaz, Kayani/Musarraf were cross firing at LOC and Jais-e-Mohd/LET are exploding in Mumbai/firing at innocents in Kashmir. I am confused about Indian Policy. Should we talk every day with Pak till India exists on earth? Perhaps these never ending talks have become an important part of our foreign policy with Pakistan. We have to accept and digest it as a common man, so called ”aam aadmi”….

_________________________________#@#____________________________

Think India Think……

Think India Think……

They are making us always fool since 1947. of course they have paid for it in 1965, 1971, 1998 etc. I wonder about Pakistants' bizarre policy. Whoever comes to the helm of Islamabad, they produced a straight/proxy war, whether Bhutto Senior/Junior, Zia/Musharraf, Nawaz/Geelani. Why are we being fooled away every time, I am confused? What does this hell-talking produce??? When there are always 3 power centers in Islamabad eg a People-elected Government, Pakistani Army-ISI and The fundamentalist-terrorist outfit, then what rubbish we are producing by talking with one centre only? If I become PM of India I'll try these 3 centers at a given time...Is it feasible? I might be a day dreamer, but I don’t regret for it.  While Manmohan/Bajpai were busy in talking with Geelani/Nawaz, Kayani/Musarraf were cross firing at LOC and Jais-e-Mohd/LET are exploding in Mumbai/firing at innocents in Kashmir. I am confused about Indian Policy. Should we talk every day with Pak till India exists on earth? Perhaps these never ending talks have become an important part of our foreign policy with Pakistan. We have to accept and digest it as a common man, so called ”aam aadmi”….

_________________________________#@#____________________________

"Monsoon-Pearls"

“Monsoon-Pearls”

Transparent raindrops

Over green olive leaves,

Appear like fluidic pearls,

Someone has gifted me in this monsoon,

She does not know,

How many pearls my eyes have lost,

But, she has gifted me these pearls,

I have to recount my stock,

Before this monsoon goes back…(I)

These fluidic monsoon-pearls,

Someone gifted me in this monsoon,

She knows,

Her beautiful eyes had shed a many,

For many lost causes,

I have to recount my stock,

To offer her back,

To fill her heart with pearly joys,

Before this monsoon goes back...(II)

Be Your Own God

With respect to "Surreal this is..."

Be Your Own God...

2:23 pm IST,26-07-2011:

            Mili, the main character of today’s sayings called me and asked,  “Uncle, how are you”? I told her, “Dear, I am fine and I’ll call you back in the evening. We’ll talk a lot”.

4:30pm IST, 26-07-2011:

I opened my laptop after a cup of evening tea and got connected to your “blogspot”. I copied down your “Surreal this is…” to my desk top and closed the internet since I belonged to a lower middle class family headed by a school teacher and I know  values of my single rupee . I patiently went through your thoughts reflected on your blog. You had shown me a mirror through which I was looking at the image of your life that you had to pass for last some years(I don’t know your date of birth). After reading, I found myself wordless and looked at the speeding fan over my head in supine position and murmured again and again “Oh life, you have so many hues”. What I should say to Raman, a new friend (so declared by a social network “facebook” just  3-4  days back). I was looking for my God for an exact answer…but  could not.

6:30pm:

My wife called me and  asked me if I had a talk with Mili ? Mili talked to my wife after calling me. I said. “No, I am going to talk her in the evening”. What a coincidence, what a concordance! I exclaimed myself and requested my God to help Raman…

There are three characters including Mili in today’s sayings who will tell you their real life stories to you for your answer.

Mili, BA in Mathematics, MCA, 33 years married to an IT professional with a little son of 2 years. She lost her father at the age of just one and half year. At an age when  the small babies do not utter, papa/daddy clearly. She had another sister who was just 2 months of age at the time of their father’s last breath. Mili is just 4 years younger to me but calls me “Uncle” on account of my social position and assignments in their family. As per our age she should have called me “bhaiya”…But I always treat her as my niece as well as sister. These two small children were brought up with all the resources a lower middle class family could provide. Her mother who was dreaming a very colorful life with her husband had to wear and tear her shoulders at that tender age of hardly 19-20 years(1979-80. Just imagine the stature of a fresh widow in seventies in Indian social scenario with two-two small daughters on her lap. Our mothers can better understand it than us…

She joined a little primary school to earn bread for her and two daughters without any needed help from in-laws. This was not a story, this was another hue of our life. Today her mother is very proud of Mili. But I am too proud of her mother as well as Mili. I always tell their stories to them who confuse about life and its mercilessness towards us…

Nigam, 36 years male with a brother of 30 years. An elder sister, 39 years  who got married just 8 months and 6 months before the demise of their father and mother respectively. Father died of colon cancer and mother from milliary tuberculosis. Today these two brothers are ill famed in my village for all types of addiction, you can say alcohol, opium, alprazolam, diazepam etc etc….Both are married and each of them with one son respectively. Their family demands much needed responsibility from them. Their sister married to an engineer who is currently living in city of Tajmahal has already stopped visiting her brothers in my village 2 years back.

Priyanka, DOB-10/04/2006 lost her father on 12/11/2008 just at the age of 2 years 7 months. Her father happened to be my best friend who knew  about  me more than my own brother. He succumbed to aplastic anemia at the age of only 33 years. When I visit my village , I never miss it to give a visit to Priyanka who has exactly the same date of birth as my own daughter but one year junior to her. I buy dresses and chocolates for Priyanka on her birthday…Priyanka never asks about her father. She lost him when she did not know what does the word “father” define. She points her finger to her father’s grave yard   tells others that her father is sleeping there. Could you imagine dear I am just dropping tears while I am typing these words. Because he was my best friend who walked with me at a time when my own parents left my hands (For  your information, I married a girl whom I loved against their wish).May his soul rest in peace and what can I offer him more than my tears…!

Mili experienced and passed with a life for nearly 30 odd years without a father’s affection, guide and love. Nigam could not guide his life after his father’s demise. The little baby Priyanka will have to  experience the path Mili has walked through. And it is her mother’s look out to ensure it. As her father’s best friend I am bearing and feeling my task ahead. May “My God” help me to carry it out….

Do you believe in “God”? if yes my hardship will be less. If answer is “No” . I have to storm your and my brains…One day my communist lawyer friend asked me, “Who is God? What does he do everyday? How does he look”. I answered that our grandfathers, their grandfathers must not have seen “God”. Lord Jesus, Guru Nanak and Lord Mohmmed also never reported anywhere that they had seen God, so far as my information is concerned. I asked him if he had brought out any under trial prisoner today for bail? He suddenly replied a young man of 25 years booked under IPC 302 got a most deserved bail for my long sincere efforts. I instantly replied him to ask this guy that had he seen god/does he believe in God? The next day morning my friend  reported  me that the under trial boy made him  feel like “God”. God has no body, no shape, no gender, no color….God is all about of our good thoughts, good wishes, good deeds… We have a body, we have a mind, Great men say we have a soul, scientists started ensuring a spiritual health along with physical and mental health for human’s total well being. Know your spirit, know your soul. Refine it and polish it with all of your good thoughts, good deeds, wash it with your good tears which were dropped at others’  sufferings, make it colorful with your love felt for other human beings… These are heavenly qualities when they appear in you, you become the so called “God”. God is nowhere, but is our soul itself, our own spirit. Be your own “God”. Help yourself. Rise above all tears, all failures, all frustrations. “The other name of frustration is degradation”. Don’t degrade yourself like Nigam. Don’t loose  your near and dears like him. Try to grow up like Mili. Start a brand new life as if You are Priyanka, a little 4 years old sans father. Make a quiet environment, close your eyes, with natural deep breathing, relaxed muscles, heedless to distracting thoughts, arouse your soul to become your own “God”. Be your own “God”. Help yourself first and bail yourself out like my lawyer friend from the prison of frustration and sorrows… Feed your soul with sayings from “Bhagawad Gita”…Definitely you will feel like Phoenix. I assure and  affirm you…Take care and …Be your own “God”…Decide and define your own destiny…

   

PHOENIX

ΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩ Ω Ω Ω

Ω                  PHOENIX                         Ω

Ω    I am a sparkle of the firecracker,        Ω

Ω    I know I will not exist long,                 Ω

Ω    But I will make my sky sparkling        Ω

Ω    In the dark deepest,                             Ω

Ω    I know I'll not live long,                       Ω

Ω    But I'll love my life to its fullest...(I)     Ω

Ω    They say tomorrow never dies,            Ω

Ω    Who dares to rise out of ashes?            Ω

Ω    If I am given a tomorrow,                    Ω

Ω    I will not die,                                        Ω

Ω    I will rise and fly like a phoenix,         Ω

Ω    I believe, “tomorrow never dies”,         Ω

Ω    I am a sparkle of the firecracker,        Ω

Ω    I know I'll not live long,                       Ω

Ω    But I'll rise from ashes,                        Ω

Ω    “To me "tomorrow never dies...” (II)     Ω

Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω

A phoenix according to mythology was the king of birds. Often colorful or pure gold.It was a very unique bird in the sense that it never really died. It was immortal. After living for a thousand years it would build a pyre, light it on fire and sit on it as it went up in flames. From the ashes a new phoenix would rise and start life afresh.  What is new in your life? How are you becoming better day after day? It does matter…. 

PHOENIX

ΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩ ΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩΩ

Ω                  PHOENIX                                                    Ω

Ω           I am a sparkle of the firecracker,                       Ω

Ω           I know I will not exist long,                                Ω

Ω           But I will make my sky sparkling                       Ω

Ω           In the dark deepest,                                            Ω

Ω           I know I'll not live long,                                      Ω

Ω           But I'll love my life to its fullest...(I)                   Ω

Ω ΩΩ            They say tomorrow never dies,             Ω Ω Ω

Ω           Who dares to rise out of ashes?                           Ω

Ω           If I am given a tomorrow,                                  Ω

Ω           I will not die,                                                      Ω

Ω           I will rise and fly like a phoenix,                        Ω

Ω           I believe, “tomorrow never dies”,                        Ω

Ω           I am a sparkle of the firecracker,                       Ω

Ω           I know I'll not live long,                                      Ω

Ω           But I'll rise from ashes,                                       Ω

Ω           “To me "tomorrow never dies...” (II)                    Ω

Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω Ω

A phoenix according to mythology was the king of birds. Often colorful or pure gold.It was a very unique bird in the sense that it never really died. It was immortal. After living for a thousand years it would build a pyre, light it on fire and sit on it as it went up in flames. From the ashes a new phoenix would rise and start life afresh.  What is new in your life? How are you becoming better day after day? It does matter….

I Am Also A Poet.....

1-PLATFORM

So many anxious moments,

Become heavier and very pensive,

When you are late like a train running late,

Failing to keep up time like failing in promises,

Many anxious moments wear out,

Many anxious moments wear out,

Many expectations die out,

When I got to know,

You won’t be ever late,

I am lonely in the crowd,

The dense platform told me,

You are late for ever,

You can’t bring me a flower.

2-LONELY HEART

The roaring solitude haunts me,

The screaming silence outweighs my presence,

I am lonely amidst crowd,

Why the lonely heart cries and cries?(1)

My every breathe slows down,

My every smile doesn’t bloom like morning roses,

My eyes are overflowing,

Why these dark nights become sleepless,

Why the lonely heart is restless?(2)

The road becomes endless,

Why I can’t listen the footsteps,

Yes, there is none, nor hope, nor dream in my eyes,

Except some killing emotions and wet memoirs.(3)

3-SOLITUDE

A song of solitude,

That was  composed and written on a scrape of paper,

With delible ink,

With the swifting moments by my wayward tears,

The ink was washed away and the color faded out,

But that scrape is still there,

Someone wants to read it,

Who can make him understand!

That the letters are no more…

And all of the essence is lost.(1)

A layer of dust obstruct the glimpse of memoirs,

The memoirs of all the relationship,

On the eve of that hurricane,

Everyone changed their path,

I stopped and looked back,

No one was coming,

The road is never ending,

I want to break free,

And I have to walk till I fall asleep.(2)

4-HIDDEN TREASURE

Oh !Love,I treasured you hidden,

Hidden in my every beat and breathe,

I treasured you hidden,

Hidden in my every tantrum,

And hidden in my impulses,

You have become a string of passion,

That tightens and tightens around me,

And dragging me towards a new sun rise,

When nights sleep out,

You whisper and arouse me,

Your tender smile makes me awake and awake,

To count many sleepless nights.

When nights burn out,

I treasured you hidden in my streaming thoughts,

I talk with you in my murmurs,

I treasured you again in my blinks,

I dream you when eyes are closed,

I dream you when they are wide open.

You are my way to life,

You are my days and nights to live,

Oh my Love! I am metamorphosed,

After I treasured you in my heart’s hive…

5-WHITE FAIRY

Once in a fairyland,

I met a white fairy,

The fairy was sweet and beautiful,

She had tears in her eyes,

I wanted to make her laugh,

I wanted to fill her heart with joy,

But I was not jovial,

I was not a joker to make her laugh,

I knew, love can stop her tears,

I realized and told her that,

“I love you, white fairy!”

She laughed and told me,

“you  joker, fairies don’t love men”.

I tried to tell her that I am an angel,

But by that time the night was over,

My dream was over.

6-WATER

When you fell in love for the first time,

I was rushing in your veins,

Yes I was red hot water,

Being pumped by your heart,

I made you sick and sick,

I am water, your blood and tear,

I’ll quench your thirst for love and care. (I)

The thirst for me is never ending,

Like thirst for love and care,

I am always there to quench,

Yes, I am water,

When you cried, cried for a lost dear,

I was there in your eyes,

To certify how much you care. (II)

7-IF YOU CAN

‎"Look up to the blue sky,

 I am in that endless blue,

 Hug me dear, if you can...

Look towards the deep blue sea,

I am right there,

Where the horizon kisses the sea,

Hug me dear, if you can...

Look at that mountain,

At the snowy peak, I am waiting,

Hug me dear, If you can...

Smell at that fragrance,

The fragrance of night jasmine,

I am in that breeze,

Hug me dear, if you can...

8-AFTER YOU HUGGED ME

After many years,

My eyes who forgot to sleep,

Are discovering dreams,

The roses which were looking pale,

Now swing in the vase,

After you hugged me in this autumn,

How can I express!

How I am overflowing with tears,

After you hugged me in this autumn,

Could you bring me those passion flowers?

Which I threw away after that denial?

 They are still blooming in this autumn,

After you hugged me.

              

9-Slumdog And Millionaire

Oh millionaire, have you ever thought about,

For a loaf of bread,

How much I sweat in a day?

Still I sleep my nights,

Without a full plate of stuff,

Which, your pet leaves everyday,

After satiated along a day.

You portray me on your screen

Shattered by poverty and hunger,

A dog born in the slum,

Starts  its life among all the blacks of this world

Its tomorrows are black.

I start  my tomorrow searching my bread

In the heaps of garbage and in the bins,

While your kids are going to their schools,

You dream for your kids day and night

Dreams are ended before I fall asleep,

And for a beautiful dream I have no night.

Oh millionaire, can you give me a share

From your pets’ care ?

Oh millionaire, can you give me a book

From your kids’ spare ?

Oh millionaire can you give me a share

From your screenplay fare ?

I can dream and dare

To live my today for a better tomorrow’s glare.

10-I AM IN LOVE ONCE AGAIN

I am in love once again,

When I saw you for the first time,

I looked into your beautiful eyes,

They told me, “We are made for you”.

I held on my emotions,

I put a brake on them,

I did not tell you but told myself,

I am here, but not for you,

You are there, but not for me,

I know you will find your man,

On a day for this life,

And I have to wait for another life,

To tell you, “I am in love”.

Those beautiful eyes told me,

“We are made for you”.

I told them, “Not ever, dear! Never for this life”.(I)

The moments of tomorrow will sing,

Again and again,

They will tell you to live life to its fullest,

You know you might be the same tomorrow,

But let me offer this rose now,

Because, I know,

 You’ll never be the same tomorrow,

The rose has to wither,

For the law of nature.(II)

Smile at me once more, oh dear!

I will miss you when you are away far,

I will miss those days,

When we were together,

I will miss those days

When we shared a lot.

I have to live in todays,

I have to count my ‘ ifs and buts’,

Who knows? Where, this life

Will take me tomorrow,

Let me offer now and then,

I am in love once again.

11-TAJMAHAL

Last night, very last night

After I fell asleep,

A white fairy came swiftly in my dreams

And asked … …,

“Did you go there?”

“Not yet, not yet”, I replied.

The fairy smiled and disappeared. (I)

Last night, very last night

While I was swimming in dreams,

The white fairy came again

And asked … …,

“Could you remember me, dear?”

“Not yet, not yet”, I replied.

She whispered in my ear,

“Tajmehal, tajmehal.”  (II)

Last night, very last night

While I was storming with thoughts …

About the great Shahajahan and Mumtaj,

I fell asleep… …and saw,

Out of a marvel white tomb, a fairy came

And asked, “whether now?”

I got overwhelmed and replied

“Yes dear, Tajmehal, Tajmehal… …” (III)

 Me still sleeping there,
Still dropping tears for that eternity,

The eternity of her love,

She got out of this earth for 'salvation',

But me not, i am still flying from this horizon to the other,

Me Sahajahaan the cursed emperor

 And haunting over that marvel tomb.(IV)

Last night, very last night

While I awoke up … …,

I murmured in trans

“My Mumtaj…, my  tajmehal…”

I became passionate,

“O’ white fairy, come on, come on...

I would adore you for ever and ever”. (IV)